In TN we have a grille-to-grill law too. You hit it, you can eat it.
Sucks that it messed up your fender. That's sheetmetal work and I have no advice of any kind there. But your bumper and other front end parts, that looks like it should be a simple replacement after a quick trip to the junkyard.
+1 on not losing your windshield.
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Lead or follow. Either is fine.
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