You know you drive a junker/jalopy when...

[cRiPpLe_rOoStEr]

Originally Posted by jakobnev

When you have to give her some revs to get the windows up.

Never tried this, but sometimes I have already pulled the glass by hand and held it in place with some sharp object

[ems]

Oh boy, my current ride has a few...

"If you'll be stopped for more than 30 seconds make sure you either roll down the windows, or shut off the HVAC blower, otherwise the cabin will fill will oil smoke"

"Don't roll the rear passenger window all the way down--something inside the door gets hit when that window is down and it causes the door to not latch so it might open on you while moving" (this one happened for the first time while I was pulling out of a driveway with a friend back there, that friend refuses to ride in my car now)

"Don't let anyone wearing light color clothes sit in the rear drivers seat, it's got some weird black goop that can stain pants... actually you know what, just don't let anyone sit there at all unless you throw a towel down first"

"When you open the rear lift gate, don't get under it till the water starts pouring out, and then make sure you let it finish, it takes about a minute" (the back up lights fill with water in the rain when the gate goes up they dump out)

"Don't worry about the tire light being on or flashing..." (that has been like that through the last 3 sets of new tires and replacement sensors)

"If the steering seems to lock up on you during a turn that means it's really low on fluid... there's some in the back, just go ahead and add it, you'll know which one is the right cap because it's really clean since I open it so often--oh, but make sure you watch out for that water when you open the gate though"

"There's a weird rattle that can get really loud at idle... don't worry about it, it's fine" (I thought it was just a heat shield on the exhaust but it's there even after I knocked about a half dozen shields off using a snow shovel a few years ago)

"The radio doesn't get FM, but AM works great. You have your choice of 3 conservative talk stations, 2 latin music stations, or the catholic mass network"

"Yeah that's not the right time on the clock" (even if you set it correctly within a day it's either 20 minutes fast or 20 minutes slow)

"Don't use the wipers on high... just... don't"

[basjoos]

When you can dispose of the apple core or banana peel by dropping it out through the rusted hole in the floorboard of the car rather than opening a window to toss it. Can also be used as an alternative to the empty coke bottle on long, non-stop road trips.

You have to back the car up steep slopes because the fuel pump is too wimpy to push the gas up to the engine when the road gets steep

[diesel_john]

Ykw
The dashboard looks like a nuclear power plant control console with extra switches for things like:
AC Compressor clutch power.
Wiper computer bypass.
Brake lights delete.
Ignition/run.
Injector voltage adj.
Clearance lights.
Backup lights.
Boattail deflate.
Ride height +/-
And the wife says "i'm not driven that thing".

[freebeard]

Boattail deflate.

Oh, wow!

[MetroMPG]

Some posters need to add their vehicles to the garage so we know what they're describing!

[cRiPpLe_rOoStEr]

Originally Posted by basjoos

You have to back the car up steep slopes because the fuel pump is too wimpy to push the gas up to the engine when the road gets steep

Makes me remind the day I saw a neighbor shaking his Kia Pregio while refuelling it. He said that would allow more fuel to get inside the tank, but I don't know how effective it was.

Just an illustrative picture:

[Piwoslaw]

Originally Posted by cRiPpLe_rOoStEr

Makes me remind the day I saw a neighbor shaking his Kia Pregio while refuelling it. He said that would allow more fuel to get inside the tank, but I don't know how effective it was.

That would work for solid fuel. Maybe his Kia ran on fuel pellets?
Maybe even... Uranium pellets?

[Xist]

How brightly does Uranium burn if you light it?

[RALPH SPOILSPORT]