You know you drive a junker/jalopy when...

[MetroMPG]

Click & Clack -- The Tappet Brothers -- had a good line on this topic:

"You know you drive a jalopy when you have to give special operating instructions to someone who wants to borrow your car."

And they gave some examples like: how you have to jiggle the shifter or the key a certain way to make it go in gear; or how a certain door only opens from the inside; or the heater fan only works on the highest speed setting, etc.

Here's mine:

With my winter beater 2000 Metro having some intermittent stalling-at-idle problems recently, I bypassed the clutch safety switch so that I had the option of moving the car a short distance using the starter motor in the event it stalled in traffic.

That's confirmation (one of many) that I drive a junker!

[Frank Lee]

You know you drive a junker when... you're male. Females always have the new stuff.

[oil pan 4]

When it breaks and you can actually fix it your self and it doesn't cost hundreds of dollars.

[freebeard]

My driver's door responds best to gentle persuasion. Open the wind wing and flip the inside handle. Pull gently on the outside handle and trigger the latch if needed.

It broke down in traffic (first time in 15-20yrs) two weeks ago, but I fixed it with my bare hands, by draining the diesel fuel filter (since replaced) for a while.

[Gasoline Fumes]

I know I drive a junker/jalopy when:
I look out the window at it.
the carpet is always wet.
I emptied the 4th can of expanding foam into the rust holes.
the CV joints keep getting louder.

[Fingie]

YKYDJJW when you instruct your friend how to get the Volvo in reverse without the gearbox crunching

YKYDJJW when you have to gently knock on the headlight relay sometimes when headlights suddenly turn off

YKYDJJW when you must often fill coolant because the hose leaks when cold

YKYDJJW the engine leaks oil and you just shrug because the engine will be swapped this year and well, the underbody won't at least rust

YKYDJJW you cross your fingers at the inspection

[freebeard]

Originally Posted by Gasoline Fumes

I know I drive a junker/jalopy when:
I look out the window at it.
the carpet is always wet.
I emptied the 4th can of expanding foam into the rust holes.
the CV joints keep getting louder.

'User name checks out.'

[ThermionicScott]

YKYDJJW when you have to park your car on level ground because the engine no longer has good enough compression to hold its spot on an incline. (And the parking brake is busted.)

[kafer65]

YKYDJJW your wipers only work when it’s dry, but if you hit the hood above the motor it starts working again. Also, it takes an extra batter and a boost from a running car to maybe get it to start.

[jamesqf]

Originally Posted by MetroMPG

"You know you drive a jalopy when you have to give special operating instructions to someone who wants to borrow your car."

Just the other way around for me. I think I'd have to get special operating instructions before trying to drive a lot of new cars.

And my vehicles all have active on-line owner sites, so they aren't jalopies, they're classics :-)