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Old 05-29-2017, 02:55 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Joke thread

Hey, just thought it'd be nice if we'd have a joke thread

I'll start:
My wife left a note on the fridge saying, "This isn't working, goodbye."
I opened the refrigerator and it works just fine. Weird.

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Old 05-29-2017, 04:28 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I was driving with my friend.

We come to a red light and he speeds up and whips right through it.

I start freaking out:

"Hey man, your going to get us killed!" He replies "Relax, my brother drives like this."

We come to another red light and he blazes right through.

"You're going to get arrested or get us killed!"

"Relax this is how my brother drives."

We come to a green light he stops dead looking both ways.

"Dude, it's green you can go."

"Nah man, my brother might be coming the other way."
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Old 05-29-2017, 10:42 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Your lucky numbers are 6, 14, 23, ERROR!DIV#0, 39, 46.
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Old 05-30-2017, 07:51 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freebeard View Post
Your lucky numbers are 6, 14, 23, ERROR!DIV#0, 39, 46.
Haha, as someone who's really into programming, this is really funny!

Keep the jokes coming boys, I'd love for people to post in this thread daily!
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Old 05-30-2017, 08:04 AM   #5 (permalink)
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An oldie

Q: How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: They don't bother, they just change the standard to dark.
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Old 05-30-2017, 09:34 AM   #6 (permalink)
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One time I drove a Geo Metro.
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Old 05-30-2017, 03:15 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justadude
Haha, as someone who's really into programming, this is really funny!
Are you familiar with the footer quote on Slashdot? Today it's "As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code."

I could post these one a day, but I won't
  • Dormitory = Dirty room
  • Evangelist = Evil's agent
  • Desperation = A rope ends it
  • The Morse Code = Here come dots
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Old 05-31-2017, 08:32 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freebeard View Post
Are you familiar with the footer quote on Slashdot? Today it's "As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code."

I could post these one a day, but I won't
  • Dormitory = Dirty room
  • Evangelist = Evil's agent
  • Desperation = A rope ends it
  • The Morse Code = Here come dots
Never heard of that quote

What has 4 letters, sometimes 9 letters, but never has 5 letters.
Just a hint: I didn't ask a question.

Got you
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Old 05-31-2017, 01:58 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Got you
I don't get it. But just the nine letters part, the punctuation is Okay.

The Slashdot quote today is:

Quote:
Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what one is talking about nor whether what is said is true. -- Russell
I don't necessarily agree with that. Quite the opposite.
  • Mother-in-law = Woman Hitler
  • Snooze alarms = Alas! No more Z's.
  • Eleven plus two = Twelve plus one
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Old 05-31-2017, 02:22 PM   #10 (permalink)
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A salesman comes to the door and is met by a nine year old boy smoking a large cigar. Taken aback the man asks, "Is your mother home?" The boy flicks his ashes on the carpet and replies, "Whadda ya think?"

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