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Old 12-20-2008, 04:41 PM   #1 (permalink)
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just some humour for my Canadian freinds

President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang.
“Hallo, President Bush” a heavily accented voice said. “This is Archie, up ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger’s Cove , Newfoundland , Canada , eh? I am callin’ to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya!”
“Well Archie,” George replied, “This is indeed important news !
How big is your army ?”
“Right now,” said Archie, after a moments calculation “there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!”
George paused. “I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.”
“Holy jeez,” said Archie. “I’ll have ta call ya back!”
Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. “Mr. Bush, the war is still on!
We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!”
“And what equipment would that be Archie?” George asked.
“Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry’s farm tractor.”
President Bush sighed. “I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I’ve increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke.”
“Lard t’underin’ bye”, said Archie, “I’ll be getting back to ya.”
Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day.. “President Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an’ modified Harrigan’s ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four byes from the Legion have joined us as well!”
George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. “I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I’ve increased my army to TWO MILLION!”
“Jumpins,” said Archie, “l’ll have ta call youse back.”
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. “President Bush! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis ‘ere war.”
“I’m sorry to hear that” said George. “Why the sudden change of heart?”
Well, sir,” said Archie, “we’ve all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere’s no way we can feed two million prisoners.”
CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!
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Old 12-20-2008, 09:52 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Thanks for the laugh, Schultz!

I'm afraid it may have less to do with "Canadian confidence" than poking fun at the Newfies planning the war.

I can tell you though, you could do worse than being taken prisoner by a bunch of folks from the rock. All the ones I've met were super hospitable.
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Old 12-20-2008, 10:58 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I have friends from Newfoundland.
My wife was born there,in Halifax, Nova Scotia, to my Retired Air Force F-I-L.
Ive never been Myself and if life keeps getting in the way I may not ever make it.
I thought you might enjoy the humor in it though.
S.
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Last edited by metroschultz; 12-21-2008 at 09:56 AM.. Reason: wife me gave more information
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Old 12-22-2008, 08:52 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I've been to Newfoundland and Labrador few years ago, nicest people I've ever met. I wonder though if there actually is 2 combines on the rock? Anyways Schultz, you should go, its pretty cheap once you get there and if you like seafood, you can eat your fill and Cod cheeks shouldn't be missed!
Ian
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Old 12-22-2008, 10:40 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I may have to go.

My wife wants to go back and see the area she was born in.
She lived there until she was 6 or 7 years old.
We have pictures her mother saved but she doesn't have a lot of solid memories from that time. She does remember the goat farm next door and being butted by one when she was little.
If we put together some sort of trip with my friends from Newfoundland, and make a stop in Nova Scotia on the way ( up or down, I am not sure, sideways maybe?), we can kill two trips with one drive.
And I LOVE Seafood.
I have since I could feed myself.
warning, digression occurring.

When I was about 10 years old, my family went to the local Seafood Restaurant and I ordered Broiled Flounder.
It was the whole flounder.
Eyes up.
gutted and boned, skin on.
My Mom freaked, she couldn't eat, so I covered his head with a napkin and she said,
"I know he is still looking at me"
My dad called the waiter to take in to the kitchen and have the head cut off but that didn't help.
She still couldn't eat and we left early with our fish in bags.
Stopped on the way home at Dairy Queen for ice cream.
WooHoo what a night.
Schultz


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Old 12-22-2008, 04:02 PM   #6 (permalink)
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"You can never go back again." - Indy, the Cod don't seem to be coming back to the byes by the bays. With a bit of help from Europe, we caught them all.

Thanks, Metro. The old one about the battleship was getting old. :-)
I see we are both in locations approved by Edgar Cayce.
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Old 12-23-2008, 10:10 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Schultz,
I remember my first trout experience at a restaurant as well, head on and looking at you... Now most fish we get are whole, either caught ourselves or bought. Lots of flavour in a fish head, shame to waste it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bicycle Bob View Post
"You can never go back again." - Indy, the Cod don't seem to be coming back to the byes by the bays. With a bit of help from Europe, we caught them all.

Thanks, Metro. The old one about the battleship was getting old. :-)
I see we are both in locations approved by Edgar Cayce.
I'm pretty sure you'll still find plenty of cod for sale there, mostly "by catch". Also I think there is still some traditional port fisheries going, there's only .5 milllion people there so lots of fish to go around.
Ian

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