Allegedly bug zappers don't kill mosquitos and you are a bad person for looking into them. I hate mosquitos, but I don't want flies, moths, or anything else climbing on me when I am outside. We're not talking bald eagles. If a bug lands on me or tries to land on my food I will swat it, so if I want a bug zapper near me when I am outside then the dippy and baloney-filled hippies can do push-ups.
I'm not leaving it on unless I have food outside, but I guess the moral of the story is to always have food covered outside.
If it is not bad enough that bug zappers are evil and only evil people want them, they make bugs explode! Exploded bug parts can travel up to one mile [or something]!
Okay, once again I need to explain the inverse square law. If a one-gram bug gets spread over a one foot radius, that gram of exploded bug guts is spread out over 4π ≈12.56637 square feet.
If bug guts travel 8 feet then 1g of exploded bug guts are spread over 256π ≈804.24772 square feet.
Is that desirable? No, but neither is having bugs in your food, so cover it!
Obviously you would want a bug blast shield between a bug zapper and people, but since mosquitos aren't attracted to light, maybe a bug zapper with a human-scented candle instead of a fluorescent light?
What about a bacon candle?
I originally shared a 4-minute Hallmark video, but as someone commented, there was far too much talking (and laughing). The Hacksmith showed it in 60 seconds!
You just save a bunch of bacon grease, mix it with unscented candle wax, pour it into a jar, dangle a wick into it, and give it a couple hours of alone time. The Hacksmith melted votive candles and reused their wicks. Hallmark used a commercial one.
Some people use straight bacon grease, but someone pointed out that it melts more than candle wax, so it is more of a tip hazard.
The odd thing is that some people say it doesn't smell like bacon at all.
What?! Why would you do this then?! Someone said you are getting a cheap candle and not dumping bacon grease, but you can buy candles that size from Dollar Tree.
If it doesn't smell like bacon does it still attract mosquitos?!
Apparently if you want a turkey bacon candle your peers will laugh you to scorn. The thing is, turkey bacon may be healthier, but that is because they are leaner, which means that you need to cook more in order to get enough grease to make a candle.
But wait! There's more!
Everybody knows about the King of Random's bacon soap video:
He renders bacon, simmering an entire pound of chopped bacon on the stove for 8 hours. Then he mixes the rendered pork fat with water, puts it in the refrigerator for 8 hours, and scrapes off the impurities.
Another guy filtered it. He went through a couple coffee filters.
They seem to become saturated with fat.
You could also pour off the fat. There are measuring cups designed especially for that.
Whatever.
He got 70g of pork lard from 1lb of bacon.
That sounds like a lot of work to remove the 85% that is impurities.
According to
La Quercia Tamworth Country Cured Bacon propaganda, normal bacon cooked normally loses over 55% of its weight, but how much of that is pure grease, and how much is impure?
What difference does it make?
Who cares if it doesn't smell like bacon and doesn't attract mosquitos?!
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