How to have fun with trolls

[The Rooster]

For many internet surfers, trolls can be a rather bothersome problem, but generally speaking they are only a problem if you deal with them improperly.

Trolls have one goal. They type drivel, often with bad grammar and spelling, with the sole purpose of getting emotional reactions out of people. The problem here is the troll dosen't actually care about the subject, and you care too much about chaning their mind or defending yourself.

Don't let this happen to you.

The key aspect of dealing with trolls is identifying them right away. They are usually very easy to spot. They will typically be newly registered, and they will type something offensive and ignorant in the hopes of starting a riot. It'll look like this;

Originally Posted by Bulltrue

No offense but I think sacrificing all that crap for a few mpg is stupid. Plus you little cars do no good in the snow you can't toe anything and in a wreck my 10000 pound truck which may only get 19 mpg will anihilate anything you drive and only receive small dents if I don't drive over the top of you. I don't care how safe they claim your prius is it's no match whatsoever in a wreck against my 10000 pound 4x4 crew cab 7.3 liter powerstroke diesel. Fuel mileage and hybrids are for people that can't afford a real car or truck. And for those of you who care to send a stupid reply I can only hope you tailgate me. I will stomp the brakes and say good bye to your lunchbox wannabe car.

This is obviously a troll, and if they aren't, they still are.

However, dealing with trolls dosen't have to suck. You can have a lot of fun with trolls. There are a number of ways to do this, but you should keep some ground rules in mind;

1) Don't address the troll directly unless you intend to change the subject. Preferably to something more extreme and that he'll have a hard time arguing at all. Example;

Originally Posted by The Rooster

Thankyou Bulltrue from Oklahoma, you did a masterful job of reinforcing the stereotype of a truck driver. I'm curious to hear how you feel about black people.

The point of this post is twofold, one I don't argue with ANY of his points, instead give him an insulting thanks, then I change the subject.

2) Don't be a hypocrite. Example;

Originally Posted by Jim-Bob

DON'T FEED THE TROLLS!!! That being said, yes, many of us ARE engineers and that is why we enjoy the technical challenge endemic to improving fuel economy. Plus, if you are an engineer, why are you also a ASE cert. tech? You must not be a very good engineer to need to fall back on being a mechanic. Oh wait... you think a big truck is a good daily driver...

As for money, my Metro saves me $180 a month over the fuel cost of driving my Frontier.

A couple things happened here. One, good advice was followed by not following your own advice. This has the effect of discrediting yourself, and you did it in one sentence. The other thing that happened was you engaged him on his turf. You are arguing something he actually doesn't care about, he only cares about getting a reaction.

3) Reverse troll the troll;

This is the fun part, it's like a battle of dim-wits to see who can be the most dim witted. If you do it well enough, the troll might actually come around to liking you. Because after all, he only want's entertainment. Example;

Originally Posted by The Rooster

I totally believe that guy is a master ASE tech, an engineer, and owner of dozens of vintage cars and motorcycles.

I'm an astronaut who's been to Mars seven times, I drove my Cummins Quad Cab on the moon, I live in a house made of diamonds and I'm married to a dozen supermodels. Oh, and my favorite past time is grooming my stable of unicorns, my IQ is 532, and I have a PhD in warp drive mechanics...and I built the Enterprise...all of them, the space shuttle, the aircraft carrier, and the one that flies in space. But I feel like I'm forgetting something.

Look people, there are guides on the internet on how to troll. Trolling is a past time for some people. To quote Sun Tzu's Art of War, "If ignorant both of your enemy and yourself, you are certain to be in peril." Know your enemy!

Please feel free to post any more ideas on how to handle or have fun with trolls.

[KITT222]

I have had much experience with trolls, and they actually have groomed my debating skills. And even though this is my first forum troll, and first one that isn't paid to troll, I still know their type. Don't nitpick the tiny things, for one. And always remember what you intended something to say, because they will for sure try to spin it on you. Just be HEAVILY passive aggressive and you'll do fine.

But one thing you shouldn't do is be totally hostile off the bat. Don't call them names, and KILL them with kindness if you can. Passive aggression is good. It's better when the half-wit doesn't even get it.

[YukonCornelius]

Other forums I've been on take care of it with a quick ban.

[The Rooster]

Originally Posted by SVTwithMPG

Other forums I've been on take care of it with a quick ban.

Meh, that's boring.

[Thymeclock]

Other forums I've been on take care of it with a quick ban.

Originally Posted by The Rooster

Meh, that's boring.

Actually, that's authoritarian.

[KITT222]

Originally Posted by The Rooster

Meh, that's boring.

Honestly, I agree. I think we should let this troll hang around for a bit, so we can have fun with him before the ban hammer comes down, possibly out of necessity. Like a bunch of cat playing with a single prey before the final kill!

[The Rooster]

Originally Posted by Thymeclock

Actually, that's authoritarian.

wat

[Jim-Bob]

Point well taken. Had I not been having a rather bad week I likely would have followed my own advice and walked away at that. I should have but I couldn't avoid picking apart the failed logic I saw in the post. I shall recuse myself from further dealing with this troll.

[The Rooster]

Originally Posted by Jim-Bob

Point well taken. Had I not been having a rather bad week I likely would have followed my own advice and walked away at that. I should have but I couldn't avoid picking apart the failed logic I saw in the post. I shall recuse myself from further dealing with this troll.

I think I could sum it up simply with two rules;

1) The ONLY time you should respond to a troll is when its for the amusement of yourself or the other members of the forum.

2) Arguing with a troll only amuses the troll.

The easiest way to accomplish the former is to take it up a notch. If he says he has a 10k lbs truck, counter him by saying you have an International semi that runs on a WWII V-12 aircraft motor from a tank that runs on Jack Daniels.

Trying to make an intelligent argument with a troll is actually the stupidest thing you can do...because that's EXACTLY what he wants...so he can continue to troll you.

I'm starting to realize now that I've spent way too much of my life on the internet...it's the only explanation to how I know the in's and out's of trolling...unless...

[NachtRitter]

... unless you've practiced the art of trolling yourself...?