You know you drive a junker/jalopy when...

[cRiPpLe_rOoStEr]

Originally Posted by oil pan 4

When it breaks and you can actually fix it your self and it doesn't cost hundreds of dollars.

Or when you don't even bother about fixing some things anymore (especially the parking brake).

[Xist]

My sister called my Civic "Crap" a year ago and I doubt my vehicle has improved since. Actually, it may have been two years ago, she had something to do with my sister-in-law selling me the Accord for $250 over a year ago. The driver's door does not open from the outside. I have a replacement, but the inner door panel is cracking, and if I take apart my door, the panel will only crack more.

Someone suggested attaching fiberglass to it.

Yeah...

[spacemanspif]

...when the carpet gets wet and instead of finding the leak you just remove all the carpet.

...when you get tired of the sagging headliner and decide to pull all the fabric down and paint the fiberglass matt with a roller and grey paint.

....when you have dented doors and replace them with off-color versions to teach your wife what happens when she makes demands about the car that isn’t her’s.

...when your hood is backed into and the person’s insurance cuts you a $1,000.00 check to fix it right and you buy a $40 junk yard hood; making the car covered in panels of 3 different colors.

...when you kind of hate the fact you got alloy wheels with the car so you paint them black because you don’t want to feel guilty about not cleaning them.

[Xist]

So, if I go home and clean my HX wheels my car will officially not be a jalopy?

[cRiPpLe_rOoStEr]

Originally Posted by spacemanspif

...when the carpet gets wet and instead of finding the leak you just remove all the carpet

Well, at least it won't smell like a wet dog anymore

when you get tired of the sagging headliner and decide to pull all the fabric down and paint the fiberglass matt with a roller and grey paint

Pulling the fabric down, OK. Painting the matt, not so likely...

when you have dented doors and replace them with off-color versions to teach your wife what happens when she makes demands about the car that isn’t her’s

What I see more often is people just filling the dents and rust gaps with epoxy resin.

when your hood is backed into and the person’s insurance cuts you a $1,000.00 check to fix it right and you buy a $40 junk yard hood; making the car covered in panels of 3 different colors

And in fact that $1000 bill is for a fix that's not really so much more expensive than the $40 junkyard hood, the only extra cost is to paint it in the color of the junker. Well, at least the color that matches it closer, since it's not that easy to apply a patina effect to match all the years of neglect...

when you kind of hate the fact you got alloy wheels with the car so you paint them black because you don’t want to feel guilty about not cleaning them

I see people doing that even in newer cars, painting their alloy wheels some darker color that's only good to keep all the brake pad dust less noticeable. But they often claim doing that for "style"...

[cowmeat]

. . . when your stick shift breaks off and you replace it with a fishing rod handle

. . . when the windshield wiper motor is broke so you pull off a wiper arm and hang your arm out the window wiping it manually when it rains

. . . when you break off the sunroof crank with it all the way open and have to drive around like that rain or shine

. . . when your idea of new tires is whatever you find for ten bucks at the u-pull place already on a rim that happens to fit your car

. . . when you have to plan out your entire route in advance because your car will only make right hand turns

. . . when the truck you had given to you has a funny looking toggle switch retrofitted on the dash and you flip it to the on position, then sit back and admire the warm orange glow as the wiring harness burns up

. . . when you spray paint it with a couple of cans of Rustoleum Hunter Green and it's never looked better

. . . when you spray paint the bottom half black with 99 cent paint so it will hide your crappy wheel skirt and grill block mods

. . . when rolling down the electric windows is a two-handed affair that involves hitting the door panel with your elbow

. . . when the drivers seat is a folding lawn chair

[cRiPpLe_rOoStEr]

Originally Posted by cowmeat

when the windshield wiper motor is broke so you pull off a wiper arm and hang your arm out the window wiping it manually when it rains

I have already seen people using a shoelace going through the quarter-window instead of wiping it with their arms. Other thing that I have already seen a lot are cars originally fitted with 2 wiper arms using only one, mostly Volkswagens.

when your idea of new tires is whatever you find for ten bucks at the u-pull place already on a rim that happens to fit your car

Or retreading tyres.

when the truck you had given to you has a funny looking switch retrofitted on the dash and you flip it to the on position, then sit back and admire the warm orange glow as the wiring harness burns up

I've already seen similar approaches in order to either bypass the automatic control of glowplugs or to activate the engine-off solenoid in Diesel trucks.

when rolling down the electric windows is a two-handed affair that involves hitting the door panel with your elbow

Not hitting the door panel with the elbow, but holding the glass and trying to keep it from falling out of its allignment.

[MetroMPG]

... when you get a ride in your friend's base model 2010 Kia Rio (though with automatic), and it sounds & feels like the peak of automotive refinement compared to your current car.

[Xist]

So, I went to the dollar store to get a bottle brush to cut off, put in my drill, and clean my wheels, but it was raining, and I realized that my windshield wipers only work at the highest setting.

I could figure out how to fix that or I could purchase Rain-X when it stops raining.

Now I know what I am doing during my lunch break!

[MetroMPG]

Originally Posted by Gasoline Fumes

the carpet is always wet.

I forgot about that one!

The MPGiata's top leaks. Its floors rusted out because the carpets were always wet. New top? Nah... I just put a tarp over it if it's going to rain.