Alone again, naturally.

[Miller88]

Originally Posted by redpoint5

My life plan was to retire wealthy and relatively healthy at the age of 55, marry a 25 year old, and begin my family (since I can't fathom how anyone has time for children unless they are retired). Well... I got married last week at the age of 32. My wife ruined my plan, and I couldn't be more contented.

Plenty of Fish is garbage. I found my wife on OKCupid (and my wife's friend found her husband at the same time on the same site). The matching algorithm is superior to others because it allows your own opinions on any number of things to form the matches, instead of relying on some stuffy old "expert" to apply a simplistic formula. It's free too.

A few years back I met an extraordinary 18 year old girl at junior college; I was 28. I had my reservations about dating her, and even shared them with the girl, but in her naivety she persisted and against my better judgement I gave in. When she went away to the University and broke up with me, it really hurt. I guess my only point is that even though you might feel older, young women are attracted to guys that are fun and represent a source of security, regardless of age.

Getting rejected by someone we love is the worst because we always pine for the one that got away, or the one that we can't quite get. There is nothing I know of that will heal the heart faster, but it's important to know in your mind that genuine and enduring love and companionship meet on the same level, with the same commitment. If a girl leaves, then it is better than having her hang on by a thread while you devote yourself to her.

I commend you on admitting that perhaps you were not the right one. American culture inflates our egos to unhealthy levels by saying we are perfect the way we are, that it's their problem and not a problem with me, and that we deserve the best of everything. The reality is, you only get what you give. Become the man that deserves the woman of your dreams. Perhaps you are, but there is always room for improvement.

And last, as a man, you are likely going to have to make the first confident step in the relationship. If it's meant to be, she will eventually meet you halfway.

The matching algorithm is excellent. On top of that, most users answer a bunch of questions, so, when you stumble across their profile, you can see where they stand on a lot of issues.

For some I find the wrong answer to a deal breaker, or the right answer to a deal breaker.

Online sites seems to have major advantages. How else are we supposed to meet people? I don't want to meet someone in a bar, my neighborhood is full of college aged girls (NO THANKS) and all of my friends are guys.

With that said, I got out of a 2 year relationship a month ago. It started to go south 4 or 5 months ago and finally ended.

I wasn't looking for a relationship. It juts happened. I think everyone has to be in that mindset. If you *want* it to happen, it either won't or you will end up in a bad situation.

I'm finally getting to do all of those things I wasn't able to. Been playing with the Jeep, going for bike rides, going to the gym, eating healthy, reconnecting with old friends at bars (but never drinking).

If it happens, it happens. If it does not, it does not. I'm only 24. Not sure if I want kids, too young for them.

[Arragonis]

Lets call a spade a digging tool here - the idea that there is some kind of wonderful matching algorythm is, well, ****e.

That isn't the point.

The point is that when that person you will end up being with forever appears he/she may not share your views.

They will/won't vote as you do.

They will/won't do what you do in your spare time.

They will/won't like your music.

And worse of all - they will/won't think your "hobby" or fixation is "sad".

The real path to happiness is not caring, you compromise. You do so because this person is the one.

Worked example me and Mrs A. We don't share political views (but we debate), we don't share interests. We like to watch movies together but Mrs A likes Richard Curtis rom-coms and I think Mr Curtis should be tortured to death - only joking - and I prefer Sci-fi or thrillers.

But when Mrs A wants to spend time gardening I'm there to do the heavy stuff or move/shift things as required. And when DIY is needed she holds and passes things as needed but she really isn't interested in how or what.

We share key aims - retiring at a certain point or how work should work out and that is a joint aim we both work towards.

[freebeard]

Arragonis -- All those stories about successful relationships was just bringing me down. You paint a picture of something that just might work.

And worse of all - they will/won't think your "hobby" or fixation is "sad".

As a 'think' what's that called? Weak tea?

I wasn't looking for a relationship. It juts [sic, snicker] happened. I think everyone has to be in that mindset. If you *want* it to happen, it either won't or you will end up in a bad situation.

There's my problem. When the counselor at the free clinic told me that I missed the "or you will end up in a bad situation" part. I guess I just didn't not un-want enough.

If it happens, it happens. If it does not, it does not. I'm only 24. Not sure if I want kids, too young for them.

Ya have kids at 15 and start your career at 30. The other way around it gets all tangled up.

[Arragonis]

Weak tea is a crime...

My parents 'had me' when they wete very young. It was hard financially but they were both active throughout my childhood. We (Mrs A and I) had junior when we were older so we have more resources but less time and energy.

Not sure which is better.

[freebeard]

My current favorite singer/songwriter is Thao Nguyen. I think this describes a good relationship:

And I need you to be
better than me,
and you need me
to do better than you.

Thao Nguyen -- Know Better, Learn Faster

Be. Do. To paraphrased the old joke "...and that's the way it went all night—do-be-do-be-do-be-do".

[Frank Lee]

And I need you to be
better than me,
and you need me
to do better than you.

Well if that isn't a set-up for disappointment, I don't know what is, because it ain't gonna, and can't, happen!


What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about?!?

[freebeard]

Well... it is.

I always picture you as a big guy in overalls with an Ed Roth hat, that likes sock puppets. So I'm going to follow you around with this until you comment on it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TC5DQGGUkKU

[mikeyjd]

Originally Posted by freebeard

I always picture you as a big guy in overalls with an Ed Roth hat

I always imagined a little Asian guy with lots of animals.

[freebeard]

If I'd been nicer to Frank Lee, maybe he'd post up all his various Profile pictures—the Ed-Roth-hat guy, the sock puppet, the dog (or something (?)) that preceded the sideways-headed cat.

You can kind of see the theme in the wall-eyed dog in his current signature [subject to change].

[Frank Lee]

Originally Posted by mikeyjd

I always imagined a little Asian guy with lots of animals.

I'd like to see a little Asian guy ride these!





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