A quick bodyshop update for y'all: $135!!!! I couldn't believe it. By the look of it, I was sure the two door panels were gefickt, but it turns out the shredded rubber from his tire that dragged along the side of my car blended with the black color effectively enough to look like body damage. The unusually honest body shop that fixed the car cleaned off the rubber and buffed the doors back to sparkling. As the guy sideswiped me, the wheel actually grated only along the length of the plastic bumper guard that runs the length of the doors. It was pretty chewed up, but selflessly gave it's all protecting the sheet metal as it was supposed to do. So... bumper strip replaced, rubber removed, paint buffed out and waxed. Good as new.
And I am telling the revenue generators to **** off and I signed up for my day in court. I think I can reasonably explain to a judge that my LRR overinflated tires are noisy backing out of the garage, much less coasting around a 90+ degree turn at the end of an off ramp. Hopefully the judge is eco minded and buys my story...